Moments

Sometimes the little moments don’t seem to mean anything until those moments become memories and it’s all you have to hold on to.

As Ryder would say, “Ash, you’re my best friend.  And Mitch is my best friend.  And mama and papa are my best friends.  And Lillie is my best friend. And mommy and daddy are my best friends.  And Trey is my brother – not your brother.” 

Well, Ryder, you are my best friend, too.  And Anna is my best friend.  And Jeff is my best friend. And Trey is my best friend.  And today, I want to talk about you and these best friends.

My sister, Anna, is the sweetest person you will ever meet.  If you are ever mean to her, you can count on her not being mean back.  She is the perfect sister.  And she is a perfect friend. 

Ann has always been there –through thick and through thin.  I have never doubted my sister loved me.  I have so many happy memories of me and my red-headed side-kick.  I remember saying I would never be like her.  I would not date boys. I would not wear makeup, paint my nails, go shopping for fun, or do anything of the sort.  And then, somewhere along the line, I started doing everything Ann did.   To the point where we ended up with the same married name, lived across the street from each other, and had the same children.  Naturally, I adopted Ryder and Trey as my own.

I also adopted someone else.   A new brother.  Jeff has been my brother since my Junior High days.  He is not just an in-law.  He is my brother and my friend.  He is a “little shit” and someone I have always been able to rely on.  He never lets you down and always comes through on what he says.  (And if he is ever picking you up for anything, you sure better be ready 5 minutes before the appointed time).  Jeff has been a good sport about letting me barge into his house 2 or 3 times a day, letting me watch shows with Ann on their bed, or eat anything I want out of their fridge, and take up their pew space in church.  He has always been someone I could really talk to.  I will miss that.

There are a lot of things I will miss.  And as I realize who is next, my heart seems to grow a little bit heavier. When I found out he was leaving, Ryder sat next to me patting my back saying, “Ash, don’t be sad. Be happy.”  “You done crying, Ash?”  

No, Ryder. I am not done crying. 

Ryder has changed my life.  The relationship I have with him would never have existed if it hadn’t been for the love I have for his mom and dad.  And now the love I have for him.

He is my buddy.  He is the boy who greets me when I come home each day by running across the street with wide open arms.  He is the boy who helps me eat all the popcorn, and hides it if I’m not leaving him enough.  He is the boy that has taught me how to be a kid.  How to chase him down the slide, up the stairs, around the house, and through the neighborhood.  He has taught me how to smile like a cat, how to high five with our elbows, knees, and behind.  He has taught me the new rules for hide-n-go-seek, how I should sing hymns in church, and how I should really watch out for deer because they might hurt me.  He has taught me how to enjoy life by taking time for the simple things – like throwing rocks in the ditch for hours, playing “store” with a deck of cards, and turning the stereo on to work on our dance moves.      

But most importantly, he has taught me how to love unconditionally.   Because I do, Ryder, love you more than you will ever know.

I never thought I could love another little guy as much as I love my Ry, but then Trey came along.

I was heartbroken to learn that I wouldn’t get to watch my Trey Bug grow up next door.  I won’t get to see Trey running across the street, knocking on my door, or crying because his mom won’t let him stay a little bit longer at Ash and Mitch’s house.  I won’t get to chase him around the neighborhood, share my popcorn or even have him teach me exactly how someone “smiles like a cat.”  The image of that red-fuzzed, smiley, smiley, smiley boy will never leave my heart or my mind.  I hope that as you grow up, Trey, that you won’t lose that smile, that laugh, or your contagious ability to make everyone around you happy.   And I hope when you are gone, you will remember that your Aunt Ash loves you and she will never, ever forget you.

I will look back at this time when I lived across the street from Ann, Jeff, Ryder and Trey as one of the best times in my life. I will never forget it.  And I hope they never forget I’ll love them forever. I’ll like them for always.  As long as I’m living, my best friends they will be. 

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CHAMPION!